Hello?

 

A blank spot to write my thoughts

But there are thoughts under these

That you cannot see, layers of time

Hidden, covered with other thoughts

Memories, meshed together unseparable

If only I wrote before my brain overwrote

The file of my time here, halfway or so

Maybe less, poignant things still come

But then I forget to write them

Still I believe I will remember them later

When I get home from where I am going

But then I sit here, my memory blank

Staring at the blank spot to write my thoughts

Allen and the Jar of Memories

Be grateful for how many turns you get
For some only seem to get a few
The fabric of life is ever so fragile
Fray it too much and it will come undone
I've learned much through pain and loss
Whether enough to save myself is unsure
For no one knows the hour of calling
Regardless of health or safe security

We were gonna live forever you and I
As we spent late nights dreaming in my car
We were young, future rulers of our world
Nothing could or would ever separate us
Something we held for what seemed eternity
Time however, is relentless, an undefeated foe
We soon woke up in the present days yeah
Unsure of why everything had went so fast

Our great adventure became a road of pain
The same things that troubled you, haunted me
And as I jumped from the train I grasped you
Yet I suppose we had not arrived at your stop
I waved my flag while you waved me on
The smile though, one that could light a room
Never left your gaze, nor did those two fingers
Wagging in the face of a broken world, defiant

Escaping without you will never seem fair
Like winning a race but forgetting why you ran
I must remember Gods' reasons are not my own
His ways are good, yet serve an eternal goal
Unlike the temporal one we all tend to cling to
So do not forget your way, nor lose your purpose
For the days are long for only a little while
Live well, Love much, and smile because he did

Slow it Down

Hit the brakes, Just a little
Make it stop, I don't want to go
Are we there yet, It's already over
Just a glimpse, a bunch at once
I'm look over my shoulder

I wanna remember, How it felt
We had to get married, now two babies
One not so much, not anymore
Please slow down, Please don't rush
I'm trying to find my video camera

Before it was beach cabins, infinite bliss
Anything I would give, For that Sun's kiss
Time I gave away, years or more
To waste and fear, nothing concrete
I Woke up to find it was all a dream

But to my babies, Stay just this way
There is no rush, nowhere we must go
Trap time, Put it in a bottle
To my wife, we must stay up late
Drain every drop out of these days

When there will be no more, I'll fuss
I won't go, I'll ask for seconds
Tomorrow though, it's not yet
So come now here, let us not fret
We can read that book you wanted again

Spilling

A million miles
Or just a few lingered breaths
I have not decided which
And this breath of life
It passes much too fast
To count them all anyway
But let me start or say,
What I've come to speak
While it's not everything
That I claim to know
Getting married next week
My dad couldn't make it
His time passed from us
And so he simply did not know
But my business has thrived
Under God's watchful eye
So I've learned to be thankful
For that which I can hold
Because after all,
You can only hold anything
For just a little while,
Before it withers
Except for Almighty God,
He who neither wilts
Nor fades like colors do
Solid unending Grace,
Majesty, Mystery, Truth and Way
Of just a few, should you wonder
Why I worship at His feet
Aye, He's my light
When all I knew was dark
But maybe this is too short
For all that, Or too long?
Some things
They just happened
Now don't they to us all?
And It was I who made the mess,
The creator of falling down
I used to flail in silence,
Until I learned not to injure myself
Its late now, 11 or so
Another long evening
Sun kissed and coffee trippin'
I should go to sleep now
Another if it comes, awaits
But not before
What I've come to say
That is if I remember it
Or can speak it clearly enough
...Thank you
Because you're reading this
If I've met you
Upon some chance or broken road
Maybe we've talked before
Even if we only spoke hello
Perhaps if  I've borrowed
Some thing that you call yours
You've laughed
At a joke of mine you failed to get
Whether you're from school days
Or the work ones,
Some job I'd most likely
Like to forget
But there you are,
Both of us still working
This is a memory that never fades
That guy Jimmy from Mc Donald's
Is but one of many
Family, friends, all of you
Even if you've hurt me,
Or mayhap we hurt each other
God speed, We're forgiven
Truly now,
For the hour grows ever late
I want to thank you
Each of you,
For this life that I call my own
Because how little do we think
It matters even less, but a great deal more
That even a brief breath
Spent in the company of another
Alters both paths
Perhaps if by measurements
Picked up by scientific things
Gadgets I'll call them
It matters not
But certainly I do hope
That, I,  even for a second,
Have made you smile
Given you something to think about
And you fixed my gait
Ex girlfriends, my Ex-Wife
Deserted coworkers, Lost friends
I have not forgotten you
Time moves on though, for all of us.
Somewhere, Someplace,
We still remember each other
Just never enough minutes to go back
There is not a master key
To life's one way door
No one can go back
To all the whens at which they've been
The great mystery, Chronos
And so we become selective
Adapting to our world
All of the keyholes
We learn to dive in
From one ending dream to the next
But here we are
We take what we understand
Might be ours
And we praise from Whom we get it
At least I hope you will
If you haven't already, then a start
So much angst I see
In the lives of mortal men
All looking for answers,
But yet people mock the Gospel unread
Swore it were a fairy tale
Made up by the lost ones before them
And I cannot say
I'm a shining or flawless example
That I would never dream
But scarred and broken,
Wearing shoes
That have long since lost their soles
Even when I was immortal though,
I had believed there was a God
Only I could not at first
Say clearly who I say He is Today
The Great I am
But me, I'm just me
Born Brandon Earl
Equipped with a past
Much like many of yours
Left handed, smart or neurotic
One of those, more or none
And I love peanut butter
Holding hands, and slow kisses
I like the stars at night
Because I wonder
Where they truly are
Or how long they've been gone
Maybe its just heaven's little lights
But Thank you...
For your place in time
All of you
And if you're reading this...
Stop and think about your own path
A small favor for me to ask
Where are you going today?
Will it matter as much in the morning?
And If not...
Then leave all of everything
On the field when you depart today
Because ballparks
They're closed on Somedays
And thank your Maker
Minute by Minute
Hour by Hour
Love everyone, especially the person
Who shares your bed
Or at least
Who will when they come along
Love your neighbor enough
To let him borrow your stuff
If he doesn't bring it back
Ask God for a new one
But forgive the neighbor still
And...
If you ever wanted to know
What it was I've been thinking
Then I've just told you it all
But I must confess
This just might be another stanza
Of a never ending scroll
I like coffee conversations though
So lets catch up if we've been out a while
Did I mention I'm getting married
To my heart and best friend
And I'm sorry now
If I've showed any interest in you
In the past,
One you did not reciprocate
Or the shoe on the other foot
Never was it meant to be
And after all
Everything had its place, people too
Long before we came along
To this place
Every breath, Every hair on your head
And if you can believe just one thing
Old Dan taught me to say
Just believe that I believe
all of what I say I believe
And the rest will come
When its able
Or the the timings right,
If ever it were
Goodnight to you though,
Or good morning
Or good bye
I hope not the latter,
But if it must be so,
Then I love you, all of you
Because Corinthians taught me so

Hope in a Bucket

A man whose heart is outlined in lead
Cannot catch the drippings from the sky
His voice begins to rust, if it ever did speak
And one thousand songs he has sung
Did they ever give hope; Find a higher meaning
Listen, as the waves crash away at the shore
Beating against the crag, Sand imparts bliss
Yet for one undying thought, or many more
He stands defiant of the tide, stringing up his harp
To make sense of a madder world, to be its Poe
These are the things he clings to, signs of life
For what not is writing, but a way to breathe
Understanding of the iterations, joy from the sea
So undaunted he charters on, perhaps a while
If into another storm, so be it, he's stronger
Hope begs to be courted, yet demands nothing
And without the tragedy of  falling down faithless
No story ever truly rises into the evening wind
A man's greatest adversary,  and also his kin
The space between the Cerebrum and Aorta
Where the Spirit dwells, from which all emanates

At the Edge of the Grass

How soon is too and what is in the ocean?
Things I reflect upon when I'm tired and spent
But because I have traipsed into a newer dimension
I must continue its walk, halfway across the floor
Keep in mind this is no lamentation piece or prose
Just a reminder of how I felt this day, or always
Rest for my mind, for it grows ever more weary
And so it is, my candle still burns bright, unkempt
No irony or contradiction, just an endless flow
For now to speak on energy, my body is in abundance
Of which it lends that my mental knife keeps sharp
Varied are the ways we walk, but always, to the same end

Once, a man can give anything, but twice you say?
Yes, a spoken word that is never written withers much
And two lifetimes split, can be housed in the same dwelling
For he always searches for what he can never find nor keep
Unless reversed, and then the time finds him without query
But it does good to not consider all of these such things
For little is to be gathered from judging every fallen petal
Collect them still, and pack them away into a proper box
Then, when the seasons grow short as they will: Remember
Not just that you are dying, but that you have also lived
Some pieces, they fit better in place than others ever do
All, however, have been comprised for a subtle whole

What moment does come now that changes tomorrow?
Many they say, or at least enough to replenish your cup
Be wary about what fills it though, lest drowning suits
Once, or many times, and the air, becomes harder to breathe
Live enough days to figure out that pride never abides
That its a broken thought amongst men, primal and doomed
Also, you will come across many your share of empty ruse
But if its truly something , there will clearly be nothing else at all
So tell it loudly, with all transcendence or simply let it  rest
Because there is only one which way in which to speak forever
Not from lips, but from deep within; Unhesitatingly and bold
And I, having surmised to have finished walking, come to kneel

The Tortoise

People don’t realize
No, how could they
As the weather turns
It’s more than just
The Earth, It’s another
Place, A new Earth
More than just a day
But part of their life
That’s ended, gone
So many moments
When you’re young
You think your bag
Is endless, unexplored
But as sapling leaves
Grow, they wither too
And the days of youth,
Cycle from long epochs
Into shorter sonnets
Sweet, as wine tastes
And warm is summer
The middle part, the best
We futilely cling, grasp
At days long in the Sun
But fail to stop and think
This is already over too
As soon as its spoke
It has become complete
Don’t dance fast child
At least stay and speak
For remembering,
It slows down the reap
Harvest comes tomorrow
If in fact, it comes at all
I smashed the clock
Tore away its hands
I screamed and wailed
Said not before I’m spent
The miles upon my feet
Just whispers of places
I’ve been before this day
Perhaps just dreams
Of things I thought I
Knew, or the beginning
I slept swiftly through
Until today, I swore
I did not understand
And how can practice
Count as if it were true
A young man battling,
In a middle man’s shoes
Don’t hold your breath
Because dreaded time
It has no need for you

Unforgotten Grace

The darkness cannot find you, not in the wind

It was just something, a thing I needed to believe

Once, but it was more frequent than a single tome

Daily, destitute journeys in search of a quite peace

And as I recollect, I tremble now, much removed

For serenity has no hold in the cacophony of pain

Imagine, as best as I can define, a chronic distortion

Of time, the senses--In every breath that you exhale

A man learns quickly that respiration, while vital

It can never constitute being alive, no not exactly

Existence, is easily the worst state of human capacity

Longingly waiting for the bus ride to reach its end

Certain respite, from an ailment inconceivably miffed

Storms I know—and all a man ever harnessed before

Grace, a word which found me hiding inside the void

Too frightened to capitulate, Far more weary to run

There is no answer, for lying awake on a frosty couch

Rancor, it clung about my spirit, and darkness danced

All at once what saved me, had always been my fall

Run child, into open fields, the wind is promised you

Only if you hurry, for faith not waits on contemplation

Calculation demerits a saving hand, and freedom withers

Be sure though, no man escapes a lifetime on will alone

One step, and one day, then another, and still some more

Choosing actively to erase a passive past, without sight

But for the hand of a face I have never seen, I remain

Lost, out in the outlands—dead before a vile, raging Sea

Instead, four summers now, I have chased a calling voice

My truth, light and way are all encompassed—in one place

Mirrors or Spokes on the Wheel

How then, will you know the truth 

As it comes rushing into your face

Stealing the very breath you've held

Waiting for the approach of grace

When all of your previous journey

Held more doubt than faith could shore

Which moment then, makes it whole

Or absolute, Opens the eyes to see

That dusk has fallen, on Yesterday

 Finally, you have been cast free

 So, could the God you claim to know

Have poured upon you hallowed sound

For if you say true, then love does grow

From the endless places, never seen

And your mind elates with melody

One that the darkness, it never knew

Tell me then, who amongst you denies

The future, or the presence of its face

Parking Spaces

Saturday is for focusing

Which is why I’m scattered

The words slipping past

Receptors, though I know them

The distinctiveness of the moment

Eludes my coffee addled veins

But it’s both familiar, and fun

And I feel most free when

I can diagnose the world,

Instead of the old bramble bush

With more branches,

Than for which I have the time

But you meet these other people

Who are simple, Their rest

It comes easy and you wonder

How can they not want more

Or hunger, at least that

Because a poet lives for beauty

Even at the risk of everything

He’s rather tragic,

Though sometimes beautiful

And his ubiquity,

It becomes confused with vanity

It’s a lie though, a farce

Some are just in touch deeply,

Lovers who believe

In tomorrow, or anything

That’s been told them in a dream

So they write about it, I do

Because words are the concrete

To an abstract reality, 

The cornerstones that separate

Truth from the void