The Way It Was

There used to be shadows in my voice
If you listened closely you could hear them
Every word I spoke tried to reassure you that I was fine
Yet I was reaching out, though I didn't quite know how
I suppose I wanted you to think everything was okay
And spoke ever so softly because I could barely breath
Did You hear how frail my spirit was in those days?
Such energy it took for me to laugh at your jokes
I was dying inside and didn't have any answers
Wanted to just be like you, To know that I was real
Yet my spirit was trapped shut, Drowning in my own misery
Parts of my mortality that I did not want you to show you
I have since been set free of the demons that possessed me
Spared by unending Grace, Restored to sanity somehow
So when I look at you, It is through brand new eyes
I don't always know what to say, the words will come with time
And I found my dreamer's bucket,Just right where I had left it
At the edge of the rainbow, Where I once dove off into the abyss
My path of wreckage doesn't make me special, though I feel it inside
All that I am and All that I will ever be was forged from a broken soul
Standing on the other side only by the Miracle of my Maker
I give up any and every thing, If only to never feel that way again
May I reject all material wealth, for having it never helped me to see
That I was headed for the gates of Nowhere, Locked up without a key